SHS writer George Metcalf is here to tell you your teen emo phase wasn't in vain...
I’m a firm believer that if you didn’t have an emo phase growing up then you never fully lived.
To be clear, I’m not talking about the cool, modern version of an emo phase, where you just wear all-black streetwear fits, have 'Goth Chick' or 'Sad Boy' written in your Instagram bio, and listen exclusively to Lil’ Peep. I’m talking about a borrowing your mum's hair straighteners, covering your bedroom wall with Kerrang! posters, drawing stars on your fucking Converse emo phase.
Don't get me wrong, looking back, the whole thing was all a bit cringy, but it actually had a pretty lasting effect on me.
Here are some things I learnt from my teen emo phase...
1. How to put on eyeliner
Not a skill most 14-year-old-boys were learning, but then who wants to be like everyone else? Eyeliner (or guyliner as it was commonly referred to) was a huge part of the emo look and surprisingly easy to get the hang of. Sadly that's where my make up skills end though, so I won't be starting a beauty blog anytime soon...
2. How to rock black nails
....Or will I? Black nails were a key part of the scene, and you weren't a true emo unless you fully committed and rocked the look with pride. I remember once alternating between black and pink for extra emo clout.
3. How to reaaally push the boundaries of school uniform
I got in trouble a lot of during my emo days for playing fast and loose with my secondary school's uniform code. I'd be in the head teacher's office every other day for misdemeanours like having my lip pierced, dying my hair purple, and wearing two studded belts (no idea what I was thinking with that), but this just added to my emo street cred, so the joke's on them.
4. How to nail the skinny jean look
Long before every guy on Love Island was rocking a pair, skinny jeans were hard to come by - at least in the men's section of shops. Those who really knew what was good knew that the women's section in Primark was the best place for the super skinny jeans we craved. Those same people also knew that the only way to rock them was with a pair of beat up Vans or Converse, a studded belt, and a band T-Shirt that was way too small for you.
5. Fingerless gloves are not practical
Sure they may have looked cool and shown off my perfectly (definitely not perfectly) painted nails, but your hands were always freezing. Aesthetically they were great, but they just didn't work practically. Much like the whole scene, really...
6. How to understand whatever the fuck the guy from Fall Out Boy was saying
When you first started listening to Fall Out Boy (and to be clear, I'm talking about their OG stuff, none of the new EDM shit), you had literally no idea what lead singer Patrick Stump was saying. It was basically just noise. But over time, that noise became the soundtrack to your MSN breakups and angsty bus rides to school.
7. How to see perfectly using only one eye
The defining feature of the emo scene was probably the hair. There were many variations on the look, but they all had a swoopy fringe that covered one eye (and if you were like me, you tried EV-ER-Y-THING to get you fringe to stay in place). Needless to say, there's a small minority of our generation who perfected walking around without full depth perception, which I'm sure will be a handy skill come the apocalypse.
