The working world is strange and there's lots to learn. Here are seven things no one ever tells you about your first graduate job...
Coming out of university into the big wide world is a jarring experience. You spend the summer chilling out, travelling and just generally de-stressing, but as September rolls around you start to feel a sense of urgency.
For the first time EVER, you are out of education, and it’s time to get a graduate job.
This will typically be a salaried job in an office of some kind, which will be dramatically different to any job you’ve had before.
Here are seven things you'll learn about working life in your first graduate job...
1. Commuting is hell and cannot be escaped
Unless you’re lucky enough to live within walking distance of your job, you’re gonna need to get there using a train, tube, car, bus or bike. And you'll soon discover that whichever mode of transport you use, it will be hell.
Because commuting is just that - an unending, unavoidable, daily hell that simply cannot be avoided.
Within weeks you'll have developed your own, personal coping mechanisms though - wearing comfy commuting shoes your a suit, locating exactly where you need to stand on the train platform so the door opens right in front of you, frequenting the same coffee shop to the point where you can order “the usual” and it’s what you actually wanted. It’s the only way to survive it.
2. You'll experience “That Friday Feeling” for the very first time
Inject Friday into my veins. Before doing the 9-5 I thought that “Friday feeling” was just something that radio presenters talked about, but no, it’s legitimately a thing. Everything about a Friday in an office is 10x more chilled, even the commute, somehow.
There’s an overwhelming feeling of “that’s Monday’s problem” among you and your coworkers, which obviously makes Monday all the more difficult, but you don’t care about that right now because the weekend is so close you can almost taste it.
3. The internal politics of the office tea round
Picture the scene - you're nearly at the end of your first day and you're starting to flag big time. You need some caffeine very soon or else your new boss is gonna catch you asleep at your desk. Basically, you need a cup of tea.
Right now, the biggest mistake you can probably make is heading to the kitchen and making your self a cup of tea without offering the rest of your team one first. This is a big office no-no, akin to sleeping with your best mate's ex in the real world.
But that's not to say that offering everyone a cuppa on your first day is without it's dangers. You don't want to been known as "tea guy" because you'll be stuck making a variety of hot drinks (all with incredibly specific requirements) for the rest of your time in that office.
Instead, try and clock the current tea person, as chances are there's already a hierarchy in place. Drop subtle hints like, "ahh I'd love a cup of tea" and hopefully the tea person will take the hint eventually. Poor sod.
4. The on-going power struggle of washing up in an office
Much like your student house, there is a specific power dynamic when it comes to washing up in your office. In theory, once you’ve used something you should wash it up, but there’s a Game Of Thrones-esque power struggle at play that you’ll be unknowingly involved in.
Again, much like your student house, mugs, plates and teaspoons will pile up until someone begrudgingly does the whole load and makes everyone feel bad with a strongly worded all-office email.
Yes, sometimes it's hard to believe that you're all proper adults.
5. You can, technically, go for lunch whenever you want
If you’ve come from a retail or service background, you’re quite honestly not going to be ready for this level of freedom.
Because now you're in an grad office job, you can just take your lunch whenever you want. Like literally any time.
Want to eat your lunch at 10 o'clock and ruin your day? Fucking go for it! Wanna drag it out till 3.30 so by the time you're done it's basically time to go home? Why the hell not! Don't wanna eat lunch at all? I don't get that, but do your thing!
It took me a long time to get used to this, and for the first week or so I kept waiting for someone to tell me it was lunchtime. Like a child. It will happen to you to.
6. Working from home is one of life’s last luxuries
Imagine waking up already at your job, no commute, no bullshit Pret queue, no running for the bus and just missing it while everyone on the bus stares at you. Well that’s what working from home is like.
You can wake up five minutes before your usual start time, grab your laptop from the comfort of your own, still-warm bed, and still be early for work. Utter bliss.
7. Weekend's and bank holiday's have a new meaning
Until you're trapped (sorry, I mean, gainfully employed) in a 9 - 5, you'll never truly understand the joy of weekends or bank holidays.
When you're studying, time has no real meaning (every day's a bank holiday, suckers!). And if, like me, you've ever worked in retail, you'll learn to despise weekends and bank holidays (aka. souped-up weekends), because not only will you have to work, but you'll have to work while everyone else you know is having fun.
But honestly, once you start working in an office you'll come to realise that weekends and bank holidays are the GREATEST THING EVER. Two/ three whole days off in a row! With no commute, or obligations, or weird office politics to contend with! The possibilities are endless!
