Wondering what your first week of university has in store for you? Well wonder no more...
Everyone has a different university experience.
For some it's a non-stop party filled with endless drunken stories involving traffic cones being brought indoors and cups of water being lined up in flatmate's bedrooms.
For others it's filled with books, late nights in lonely libraries, and the crushing fear of impending deadlines.
But no matter how you end up spending your time at uni, freshers' week will be exactly the same for literally everyone.
Here are 7 things what will definitely happen during your first week of uni....
1. You’ll arrive and have an awkward cup of tea in the kitchen with your new flatmate's parents
Arriving at your halls is a nerve-racking experience, and will be made all the more harrowing by the inevitable cup of tea with your brand new flatmate's parents, in your new vapid kitchen.
“How was the journey down?” you ask the dad, who looks even more uncomfortable than you.
“Hmm... not bad,” he replies.
“Oh. Coventry’s quite far isn’t it?”
“Not really.”
“Oh”.
This goes on for fifteen agonising minutes while their mum is putting on their bed sheets.
Eventually they’ll leave and you and your new housemates can play an awkward game of Ring of Fire, but the damage will be done.
2. The kitchen will get destroyed
This one is kind of inevitable tbh. A mixture of first time cooks, very drunk cooks, and lazy cooks, means that the kitchen is gonna be put through hell during freshers' week, but the fun is trying to figure out how.
Will someone smash the glass on the oven door, making it unusable for the next six weeks? Will someone throw up in the sink and leave it all night? Or will someone forget they’ve got water boiling (for pasta, obvs), burn a hole in a saucepan and set off the fire alarm, forcing the entire building to go outside? The possibilities are endless...
3. You’ll amass more stationery than you could ever possibly use
A really weird part of freshers' week is that you’re constantly being given free stationary.
From the moment you arrive and are handed a thin tote bag filled with freebies with your uni’s logo on, to the very last welcome event of the week, you can hardly move during freshers' week without being given a piece of stationery. And not just pens either, but mad shit like highlighters and protractors.
Obviously this seems great at the time - because who doesn't like free stationery? - but after the first flush of excitement, all of this stuff will most likely stay in a draw, never get used and get thrown out at the end of first year.
After all, who ever writes anything with an actual pen any more?
4. You’ll make a 'friend' who you’ll end up trying to avoid for the rest of first term
Whether you meet this person on a night out, in a lecture, or even the queue for the canteen, they’ll come into the situation with the exact same over-friendly energy and be everywhere you look for the next term.
Half the time this person is just nervous about their new environment, in which case give them a break and invite them to hang out, because you may end up making a new friend.
Unless, of course, they’re genuinely creeping you out, in which case trust your instincts, turn your Snapchat location off, and pray they take the hint.
5. The harsh realities of independence hits
“Wait, so I have to do my own washing, buy and cook my own food, make sure I get up on time for lectures, not spend all my money, AND tidy up after myself?” - Every student ever halfway through freshers' week, when they’ve eaten nothing but pasta for 10 days and have no clean socks.
6. You’ll sign up for 14 different societies, never get involved with any of them, and ignore the reps all year long
Aside from being a great place stock up on that sweet, sweet stationary, freshers fairs are a great way to acquaint yourself with your uni's societies and get to know the people in them.
But be warned - it’s very easy to get caught up in all the excitement.
Lacrosse Society? Well you've never played sports up until now and got a stitch on the walk here, but sure why not?
Harry Potter Society? You've been meaning to read the books!
Curry Appreciation Society?
Chess Society?
Football?
You’ll find the time!
Before you know it you’ve signed up to every society going and are being bombarded with weekly emails asking why you haven’t gone to a single meeting yet and when they'll see that £10 joining fee you said you'd "definitely get to them in the next couple of days."
7. Someone will suggest making a roast dinner and it will be the most stressful thing ever
At some point during the week - most likely the Sunday before your proper lectures start - someone in your flat is going to suggest making a roast dinner.
Sounds like a great idea, right? Who doesn’t want a warming, comforting roast to sort out the hangover and set them up for the week?
Except no-one knows how to cook a roast…
So you end up spending half an hour arguing in Tesco's about what meat to cook (you go for chicken, obviously), and then spend the rest of the day fighting over the correct way to make roast potatoes (none of you are right).
The end result will be a barely passable roast that reminds you of all the worst schools dinners you've ever had, that the whole flat silently eats at 9:36pm.
Do yourself a favour and order a pizza, it will be nicer.
