MTV's Just Tattoo Of Us returns tonight at 10pm (whoop!). Here's why you need to be excited...
Just Tattoo of Us is the greatest thing on television (aside from Game of Thrones, obviously), and tonight it returns for its third season.
Why is it the best British TV show right now? Simple - because there is literally nothing funnier than watching two people (who supposedly love and care for each other) give each other terrible, life-ruining tattoos, and then pretend they're still tight.
If you’ve yet to give the show a watch and don't have a clue when I'm talking about, the premise is pretty simple; two people come in and design a tattoo for one another, they are then blindfolded and receive the tattoo the other person has chosen for them. There’s then a huge reveal where the hosts (more on them in a bit!) throw fuel on the fire that is a dying relationship with exaggerated reactions and OMG faces.
This would probably be quite boring if the British public and the country's C-list celebrities didn’t seem to hate each other quite so much. It doesn’t matter if someone goes on the show with their partner, sibling or best friend of 20 years, the tattoos are always fully savage.
If you’ve yet to experience the guilty pleasure of watching a stranger ruin their best mates life with an overly deep tattoo, here’s a few reasons you should watch the first episode of this new season TONIGHT...
SCOTTY FUCKING T
As all JTOU fans know - the previous two series were hosted by Geordie Shore's Charlotte Crosby and her real-life squeeze (apparently) Ex on the Beach's Stephen Bear.
But after Charlotte and Stephen's turbulent relationship finally came to an end ON AIR (honestly, this show is so layered), Bear left the show. Fans went into a panic because, quite frankly, who could possibly replace Bear as co-host?
Scotty FUCKING T, that’s who.
Like Charlotte, Scotty T began his career drinking himself into oblivion on Geordie Shore before winning Celebrity Big Brother in 2016, and now he’s going to banter Just Tattoo of Us straight to the top. I can’t wait.
I can’t wait to hear him say, “Ahh it’s al reeet pet” to a girl in tears after having her worst secret in the world tattooed onto her forehead. Like literally, CANNOT WAIT!
The tattoos
I really love tattoos and have around 16 carefully curated tats myself (if you want to follow my lead, check out my guide to getting your first tattoo here!). But despite the fact that I have so much admiration for the art, there's still a part of me that gets a sick pleasure from seeing other people’s terrible tattoos.
To give you a taste of what's to come, some of the worst tattoos on the show so far have included a portrait of Donald Trump, several full on naked portraits, a Birkenstock sandal tattooed on someone's foot and the word ‘SLUT’ written as if it’s branded onto the person's skin.
CLASSY.
Unsurprisingly, the reactions to these tattoos haven’t been great, which obviously makes the whole thing 10x more entertaining.
This season I'm really hoping there'll be a head tattoo (in the wake of Zayn Malik and David Beckham jumping on the bandwagon, head tattoos are becoming pretty mainstream now after all).
Also, no offence to the artists, but the tattoos themselves are pretty shoddy. Obviously this just adds to the entertain value if, like me, you're a real tattoo snob.
The minor celebrities
It turns out it isn’t just regular members of the British public who are willing to ruin their best mates' life for a joke on national television - celebrities want to get in on the action too!
Not like proper celebrities though, just people who’ve been on MTV shows and, like, Love Island, and stuff.
But the minor relevance of these celebrities means they hunger for the spotlight and are willing to destroy lifelong relationships for a taste of it.
Case in point, Frankie Cocozza is due to appear this season, which should be fairly entertaining.
Sometimes good things happen
It’s not all STI references and pictures of people’s exes - sometimes a couple will go on there and will do NICE THINGS for each other. These events are rare, but they remind you that not everyone is snide and trying to banter each other to death.
Whether it’s proposals, tattoos that commemorate loved one,s or just celebrations of friendship - these moments are a welcome change of pace and a reminder that good things do happen in the world.
It is mostly just people being horrible to each other though, don’t worry.
